Obsessive Amnesia
by PenumbraDoll
Summary: Two years since Shippo last saw him but still those tingling emotions erupted from his soul when he saw him near... But things just didn't go as the heart would want Shippo x Hakudoshi (YAOI Warning) One-Shot (DRABBLE) Rate T


**Obsessive Amnesia**

**Summarize:**** Two years since Shippo last saw him and still those tingling emotions erupted from his soul when he saw him near… But things just didn't go as the heart would want… Shippo x Hakudoshi (YAOI Warning) One-shot (DRABBLE) Rated T.**

**Pairing: **_**Shippo x Hakudoshi**_

**Ages: **_**Shippo: 19 - Hakudoshi: 17**_

**WARNING:**** this story contains YAOI and sexual references, contains mature involving between teenagers. Contains alcohol mentions involving fewer than 18 ages consumers.**

**You've been warned. Can't handle it, then don't read it. **

**PS: Here is a short drabble I wrote in language class and I was inspired when I was listening to – Keep your heart broken by The Rasmus – Listen it to give a better scenario. This song pretty much matches to this story, I was going to make it Song-fic but I just didn't want then xD Anyways listen to that song is awesome!**

**Sorry for the dark scenario and the sad fic I wrote but penumbra was a bit sad.**

**P.P.S**_**:**_** This Story is Rated T and also the POV is Third Person POV'S OKA? THIRD PERSON so don't get confused. **

**DISCLAIMER:**** I don't own any character from the series **_**Inuyasha**_**; it belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and all the respective owners. This is merely for entertainment, because if it was mine I would make Shippo Hakudoshi hentai in every episode. **

**FINAL NOTE**** This involves bad language and sexual involving references. This takes place in the actual era. Turn away if you disagree with the couple or any of the involving. FLAMERS; go TO HELL. All insults and bad reviews will be trashed off and blocked out.**

**DEDICATIONS: ****This is For Nally, Rose Cardigan, 777Chelita777, mafe7771, Ki2325, Walchtorne+guy, ELGOOG, VennecChiara, Milletone, Krillin, SIrasEidenm, Malvis6798+34 and all my follower and reviewers I love so much.**

**Please I don't want any flamers, insults with this fic because I know It may be not like some of my reviewers like but please I'm simply trying with the couple.**

**ENJOY**

**WAIT WAIT WAIT STOPPP HEEERE!**

**WARNING: This chapter is sad and bashing self and other for heart breaking.**

**LISTEN TO: Keep your heart Broken by The Rasmus and Watch me bleed by scaring kids scaring kids. ;) PENUMBRA EMO**

**ENJOY!**

**PUB: BAR ( if you didn't know.)**

**Obsessive Amnesia**

He entered in the innocent pub, the place was modern and new, some friend gave him the recommendation to try it.

And he tried it.

His head moved in a silent signal of approval as he paced himself while the mirth from the people reached his ears. He gasped. How this people could be filled with such a happiness that reached his very being even he was still grasped by the smoke of desperation and deception of life.

He, Shippo; the usual merry young boy was now drowned in a hole of isolation and disregard. Constantly barking at life's face, constantly alone and constantly thinking about _the one_ who left that sole space where his heart should be.

The one who stole the sleep from him, the one who borrowed his soul to never give back, the one who kept the bright shine from his green orbs, that one who didn't mind leaving him behind, and behind all… _was the one who killed him inside._

The alone feeling of vengeance and revenge currently kicking his guts to finally erupt as new tears and a new depressive state of mind, he knew that would eventually make his soul wan.

Who was him after all? Who was Shippo without him? Without that evil and selfish soul that tangled like a spider web through his veins and brain?

_Him._ He…

Shippo sighed; two years since he last saw _him._

He didn't even remember why was that their souls decided to keep their match and undeniable compatibility behind. He just remembers how stupid all was. How quickly they tore apart and how he regretted not looking for him.

Because not mattering that this boy stole his very life and destroyed who he used to be.

_He loved him_. Shippo loved the boy with all his soul and his heart was completely and utterly Hakudoshi's possession.

_Hakudoshi._

The utter name just slipped through his mind. _Hakudoshi… Hakudoshi… Hakudoshi… _how long was since he last named him? The name still felt filled with desperation of taking the boy in his arms just once… one more time.

Shippo sat on one of the chairs right in front of the bartender. He moved his hand up just to signalize with his fingers to the smart bartender who immediately understood.

"Here, whisky." The small shot-glass stood in front of the red haired man, He took the tiny glass and sipped the cheap alcohol. He triggered how cheap it was.

He stood there and a couple of shots made the best company till he felt his mouth suddenly dried up. His eyes widened widely and he dropped accidentally the glass, ignoring the bartender bashings Shippo stood hypnotized at the sight of the most flamboyant his eyes ever saw.

How could not the whole place turn to see the pale strange long pink haired? How would they ignore such a white and soft looking skin? The most angelical and dolly face their eyes ever admired? How wouldn't the men's jaw drop off at the hips sways of the boy as he walked in? The curvy and thin body moved belligerent as he ignored the luscious glances from the public admiring his extraterrestrial looking.

Well he did, his head held high and his cheeky smile never leaving his perfect face.

Shippo felt his whole body made of stone. How was that the destiny liked to play with his heart so cruelly?

This wasn't fair… How many nights he wished to see the ethereal sight of the young attractive man that was surely not noticing his presence as he sat a few chairs from him? And now from all the nights, he had to see him... today?

Two complete years away from him, two years since he last saw him. Oh yeah, He remembers Hakudoshi called him about a thousand times before the first month exclaimed it's thirty days. Yes, Shippo was the one who decided to dump the young boy off. Now, Shippo wished he called one more time to pick the phone just one more time…

Indeed… was still Hakudoshi's fault… How could he leave him behind? Because was Hakudoshi who didn't call one more time, Right? _Was him…. Was him… Was him…_

He saw how Hakudoshi took out his modern phone and started tapping. He smiled; a beautiful curve appeared on his red lips as his purple pink eyes gloomed with happiness, Shippo hated him. How could he smile after all? How also he missed how he smiled.

A mixture of hate and a desperate scream of an unconditional love hit his chest. Shippo saw how Hakudoshi's refined hand moved to take the glass of white wine from the tender and he sipped the clear cold liquid.

Hakudoshi placed his phone on his pocket and turned to see the bartender and ask for another glass.

Shippo's heart biting painfully, should he get close to the white youngster? Shouldn't he?

The last years he couldn't and didn't want to find somebody else to love and want, his heart was still shivering on Hakudoshi's hands. The boy simply captivated his heart and placed handcuffs around his wrist to never let go.

Shippo froze as he was caught by some extravagant purple eyes. Hakudoshi's eyes were merely surprised but not to shock, Hakudoshi's face softened from the surprise and his lips once more curved in a tender smile.

Hakudoshi's hand went up and waved a polite greeting as the white boy thought Shippo didn't notice him. The waving hand kept up in the air as if made to attract Shippo's attention, not even imagining that the red-haired attention was fully directed to him.

"Hey!" Hakudoshi this time said aloud, sound that obviously was hard to get as the people was getting louder and louder in sound by the alcohol's effect.

Shippo easily got the boy's calling. As he stood frozen in shock; he didn't' move. Hakudoshi made the first step and moved from the chair he was sitting and came to walk to him.

While he walked Shippo's saw how slender and curvy Hakudoshi became in the past two years, his long and well-formed legs were covered by a pair of high black-pitch boots and a pair of black cobalt shorts, his thin waist could easily be appreciated even he was wearing a soft white simple shirt, He was wearing a puffy-neck black sweater with well-said plushy white neck which gave him the nice and flamboyant look he gave, his hands wore black fingers-showing gloves and he was using a simple plate necklace with a little circle at the center.

His hair was tied up in a loosely pony tail with some bangs framing his pretty face and he had a black ribbon as the tying. The boy was utterly and completely perfect.

Shippo's breath stuck down his throat, those legs, that waist, those hips, his firm butt and those red shinning lips were once and completely his. He felt the delicious butterflies flying all around his belly.

"Hey!" That cheery voice echoed inside Shippo's soul as he felt the delicious fragrance the white boy had.

He slowly kept his mind from the hypnotic state of having him so near.

"Shippo, Oh my God, there's been so long since I last saw you." Hakudoshi smiled as his hands pressed friendly to Shippo's shoulder.

"Look at you, you are so handsome." Hakudoshi said while smiling. "Well, yeah you never change."

How Shippo wanted to yell he was the prettiest boy his eyes ever behold but for some reason he didn't want the boy to know how much he adored him.

"Hey," Shippo said simply. "Yeah, you look fine too."

"Thank you and how have you've been?" Hakudoshi asked politely.

_Bad, my whole world has been drowning in a sea of shit because I don't have you anymore._

"Fine, very fine really… you?"

"Well, I'm fine you know one of these days I was remembering you and I wonder; why don't we go out some day and drink a coffee, maybe?"

_You were remembering me once of these days I remember you every day of my life._

"Oh yeah, we could." Shippo said as he signalized Hakudoshi to sit by his side.

"We will." Hakudoshi smiled. "Oh, I guess I don't have your phone number, give it to me and I will give you mine."

_You won't call, why would you want it?_

"Neh, Later…"

"But later maybe we won't see again, I mean this is luck to see each other." His gloomy eyes looked at Shippo. How he wanted to lean and capture his soft lips between his.

_You call this luck? I call this Hell, Why do I have to see you today?_

"Whatsoever…" Shippo stated coldly.

"Anyways, tell me how you are? What have happened in your life since then?"

"Since what?"

Hakudoshi was obviously caught off guard by this. "Well… you know." His eyes adverted in another direction.

_Yes, I know since I left you. Oh, but you also left me._

Hakudoshi waved his hand to erase maybe that question. "Forget it, anyways, this past two years what have you done?"

_Miss you… want you, hate you and love you, wish you were with me and wish you never existed._

"Nothing, you?"

"Oh well, I traveled a lot to Europe and to America, those places are awesome you kno-"

"Anything relevant?" Shippo rudely interrupted the soft and happy voice.

_Did you even miss me?_

"Oh, well if you don't find that relevant" Hakudoshi joked while he smiled again. "Then I haven't done anything relevant."

"Interesting." Shippo coughed.

Hakudoshi smile softly disappeared to be replaced by a despair look that killed Shippo.

"Uh… Well… I was remembering that time on the pink forest…" Hakudoshi's cheeks turned into a delicious pink shade. "You remember?"

_Off course, there we made love for the first time, there you gave yourself to me and I knew I was the very first one to take your body…_

"No… which forest?"

Shippo saw how Hakudoshi's eyes just expelled sadness, even if it wasn't the first basis intentions of Shippo, he could broke Hakudoshi's tranquility.

"Oh, I thought you might remember it…"

"No… sorry…."

_I remember how I told you I loved you and that I would never forget it and you smiled and we kissed to seal that promise… _

"Well…" Hakudoshi breathed deeply, his heart was utterly shaking in panic. "It doesn't matter… well was a pink treed forest with… pink leafs…" He whispered the last words.

_I told you those pink leafs were just like the pink of his hair, his eyes and his lips… and how I loved the cheery smell… I told you that forest would be a promise to always love each other._

"So? What's the matter with the freaking forest?" Shippo smiled with a playful look and Hakudoshi returned the gentle smile.

"Oh, nothing… I just… saw one like that in Russia…"

_How could I not remember the first time you felt pleasure? I remember how insecure you were to show me that soft body and I remember how tender your skin was… I remember how much it hurt you when I prepared you and I remember how you whispered you loved me every time I thrusted in your tight body…. _

_I remember the sound of your moans; I remember the warmth we felt…. I never could feel again._

"Nice."

Those gloomy eyes poured in Shippo's soul knowing that those words made the boy tremble in pain, but he didn't want to hurt him that way, or did he wanted? Was that? What was; a childish attempt to make the boy suffer? Revenge, vengeance?

Hakudoshi stood in silence for a couple of seconds and to break the tension that was created, he smiled and clasped his hands together.

"Oi, Shippo! I went to a carnival called 'The magician' in Ontario and guess what?"

_You know I love carnivals and festivals, that's why you are trying to make me interested in what you talk._

"What?" Shippo asked bored.

"It comes to Japan on October, maybe we could go together?" Hakudoshi smiled widely.

_You hate Carnivals… would you go with me just to please me? Just to reach then your house and end up fucking in the kitchen three times just like that one time we went together to a carnival?_

"Neh…"

_I would love to._

"Oh, I thought you would like to come with me…" His purple eyes now looked sad and depressed.

"Yeah, someday…"

"Oh, I understand" He smiled.

_Now you want to cry? You never change that childish way to keep your sadness from you… _

They stood in silence again.

"Heh, I… well…" He stammered. Shippo really wanted to apologize for now he did, even they were both boys, the one who gave his body was the lithe boy in front and there was no rights to treat him that way, for as weird as it sounded he had to be a gentleman at least with him. But Shippo would analyze this later.

"How did you say was your name?"

_Hakudoshi, Hakudoshi, Hakudoshi, my Hakudoshi…_

Hakudoshi clearly froze. His heart just broke into a million of pieces again by this same man who broke it two years ago.

"Haku… doshi…" He said softly.

"Uh… Yeah…" Shippo smirked. "How again? You know it's a long name."

Hakudoshi fist clenched and his eyes filled with unshed tears.

"Don't you remember me? Neither my name?" Hakudoshi asked quietly.

_Your name? Silly, I even remember where to touch to make you blush madly…_

Shippo smiled playfully. "Sorry, You wouldn't believe me little friend but to be honest I don't remember you…" Shippo laughed faking nervousness. "Everything you talked doesn't even rings any bell… sorry"

At this done, Hakudoshi's tears started leaking over his fresh skin and when Shippo saw the diamond tears roll over Hakudoshi's cheeks; his cruel smile instantly disappeared…

He thought he would like the scene and he knew well he would hurt Hakudoshi… He knew what Hakudoshi felt when people forgot him, and he really disliked what he has done to the soft boy.

Hakudoshi felt embarrassed for a second and cleaned rapidly his tears; he lifted his head again and smiled tenderly. "Oh I am so sorry then, I'm not bothering you anymore."

_No, wait my love, don't you…. I don't like to see you crying… I hated it… Don't go…_

Hakudoshi moved from his sit and stood, he quickly took a dollar bill from his pocket and he ignored Shippo as he said he was inviting; Hakudoshi placed the bill anyways and smiled at him.

"Goodbye Shippo…"

_No, wait…_

Something told Shippo that goodbye was filled with the promise of never ever returning to him…

"Uh…" Was all he could manage to say and to be true… all he wanted was to take the boy's arm and whisper every day he remembered from being together. He didn't even have the courage to take Hakudoshi's arms.

Hakudoshi turned and gifted him the most beautiful smile and he waved goodbye.

_I love you… _Hakudoshi thought.

Hakudoshi turned and he disappeared between all the night's noises and men.

The time he thought again of what have he done just rambled in his very being ready to kill him.

What if, what would it be if he greeted happily to Hakudoshi and followed his conversation? What if when Hakudoshi mentioned the forest, he leaned and whispered he remembered even how adorable his noises sounded, what if at the end he playfully took his waist to finally steal him a soft kiss, what if he took his number and invite him to the carnival he mentioned and then ride him wherever he wanted to finally feel his skin against his and make love softly?

What if?

What if?

What if he wasn't that moron to assume everything was Hakudoshi's fault? What if he asked quietly Hakudoshi why wasn't him by his side anymore?

What if he started by saying he look stunningly beautiful in that outfit…?

What if he accepted he was the one who didn't want to take Hakudoshi's call in the first month the broke up?

What if he left all pride aside and went to greet to Hakudoshi like Hakudoshi did, showing that the love Hakudoshi felt for him was more than pure to even forget all recent… True love forgives…

Well then he wouldn't see his calendar pass around eight months and be on October right in front of the carnival by his own; thinking how would it feels to have the white skinned boy taking his hand with a glint of malice and excitement.

Shippo wouldn't be pacing like a wan spirit around the beautiful place without life on his orbs.

He felt shocked again.

His mouth dried.

There it was… again destiny placed both in the same place at the same time, maybe destiny would want them to be in each other's arms.

Would it look natural if he just walked to him and the kneel asking for absolution?

Shippo mind shot him a dagger as he saw a tall man with young but mature aspect taking his beloved in his arms.

Shippo stood paralyzed. This man with long platinum hair smiled with a serious look making Hakudoshi giggle and blush a bit.

"Sesshomaru!" Shippo heard Hakudoshi muffle a giggle and Shippo could easily appreciate the petite sight of_ his_ Hakudoshi. This man now Sesshomaru was hugging Hakudoshi's tiny frame front against front.

Shippo frowned and felt petrified.

_No. No. No…. You aren't doing this to me…_

Their lips joined in a soft contact that irradiated tenderly and smoothness. Hakudoshi's arms wrapped around Sesshomaru's neck and by their height differences, Sesshomaru had to lift Hakudoshi from the ground with his arms on Hakudoshi's waist as the lithe boy didn't reach his mouth not even tip toeing.

_Not please, God… NO! This is not fair… Not, fair. If I did anything was because I loved him…. No… God…._

Hakudoshi giggled and separated their lips from their passionate kiss and moved his feet demanding to be placed again in the ground.

Sesshomaru leaned and even Shippo didn't know the man at all he knew the smile he was giving Hakudoshi was not very usual.

"I love you… Sesshomaru…" It killed Shippo.

Even those words were pretty lies, Hakudoshi decided to move on… since everything turned so difficult to him and since this man was offering love and warmth; Sesshomaru was the only one who could make him laugh.

If he met Shippo again; wouldn't he be rude, but he would have to act like the one who forgot too not to make awkward the moment to Shippo like the bar experience. It wasn't a revenge thing.

As much as Shippo forgot about him, he didn't hate Shippo… He still loved him and he had a special room in his heart for him, but he couldn't do anything to keeping Shippo to forget about him, so he _had_ to move on, it was not that he wanted….

Maybe one day they would be friends, if Shippo didn't remember then he could introduce to him and he would at least have him near somewhere…

_Hakudoshi come back to me_…. Shippo thought.

And Shippo knew was him who said to forget first… but everything was so wrong…. Without him…

_Let me love you… one more time… let me make you mine again… let me and don't let that man touch you like I did, don't let him inside you like you did with me… don't kiss him like you kissed me and don't love him like I loved you…_

He realized it… too late…

Without knowing both, the constant thinking of each other, the memory they kept on swallowing was what made destiny to keep on trying to keep them together. Maybe would it be a third time to encounter and maybe things would turn better…

The constant recent and love Shippo felt and the currents teary memories Hakudoshi had been recalling were what would chain them together… forever and ever.

Not mattering the years that went by… they would be together forever and ever…

Ever…

**OOOOOOOOOOOOO**

**AN/ How was that?... **_***Penumbra hides behind a tree***_** OKAY OKAY keep your tomatoes down or I'm not going out… **_***Enraged public places tomatoes down***_** OKAY? EJEM… well…. I know, I know… Sess- **_***TOMATOE SMACK***_** HEY! I was just depressed okay?! **

**GOD damn you stupid public…. Can't penumbra think like that?!**

_***NO***_

**Fine that's so selfish of you! I bet Rose and Venne liked it! *Stuck tongue to Walchtorne guy and chelita777***

**Well what I was saying, I just didn't want a lemon this day… Hope you liked it and I know you might not liked how it went but I don't and WONT accept flamers and insults, IM the writer so I do WHATEVER THAT COMES TO MY MIND *A shot is heard from distance***

**Sh-shit!**

**Okay No, I live from my public! I admit! But anyways I know you like pink stories of Shippo and Hakudoshi buttttt you have to taste sad stories too!**

**Oh I'm planning ROSE to write a Hetalia Fanfic, Germany x Italy or Prussia x Italy :3 They are cuuuute and the tick Italy has "ve** **~ I love you! I love you Rose…ve** **~" AND BECAUSE IM TOO ITALIAN I LOVE ITALY ve**

**PLEASE be nice! **

**REVIEW AND RATE! Ciao! Ve** **~!**


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